Up Too Late: Bad Parenting

February 28, 2010

We let our ten year old stay up too late last night.  I think it was 12:30 when he and his mom and I finally went to bed.  I am sure there will be consequences.  In fact, this morning he woke up and one of the first things he said was, “that movie was intense”.

Yesterday on a whim, I rented “The Great Debaters”, with Denzel Washington.  It is a story about a debate team from an all black college in the 1930’s who, after beating so many other small black colleges and one white college, are invited to debate at Harvard.  What I loved an appreciated were the many examples of bright minds, passionate about learning, knowledgeable about poetry, the Bible, mythology and literature and a lovely quote that summed the culture of one hard working family, “We do what we have to, so we can do what we want to”.

There were grim reminders of our country’s racist legacy, and oscillation between worlds that challenge the watcher to understand that the path these students were on was not just difficult because of racism.  It also flew in the face of leaving the comfort of a culture that they were part of, to exist in a culture where members of each believed they did not.

Aidan watched this.  At every reasonable interval we checked in with him to see if he was awake and whether he was “ok”.  His responses were groggy though not from being tired, but from the rapt attention he gave this movie.  At some of the more intense moments when we thought it might be confusing or overwhelming, he simply replied, “That’s so sad.”  What we knew from both his attention and response is what we have come to know and appreciate about Aidan.  That he understands humanity and is able to comprehend the context in which something is presented.

What happened last night was one of those moments when you are reminded that you are raising a person who, while needing the support and guidance of his parents, has gifts to give and a strong role in our family.

We talked for a short while afterward.  His mother and I discussed with him some of the language we heard.  He and I talked about the characters love for reading and his own passion for greek mythology, novels and more recently, poetry.

The epilogue of the movie demonstrates not how these events and characters changed the course of history, but how this experience changed lives of the characters.  This too is important.  For while it was wonderful, the experience of watching something like this with Aidan revealed far more for me than the story itself.

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