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Being deliberate with our decisions and actions is essential to accomplishing any of our goals. Unless of course, you’re content waking up every morning and saying, “Well, I guess we’ll see how it goes today.” 

I hope that’s not the case. 

We do have a tendency though to leave ourselves open to the whims of others. We lack deliberateness around how we spend our time, what we want to accomplish, and the actions we need to take to get there.

“Consciously and Intentionally”

That is the basic definition of deliberate. The success we are seeking requires us to look for the opportunity to make decisions that are conscious and intentional, in alignment with our mission and our goals. 

What’s the alternative, after all? 

You and I know exactly what the alternative is. At some point, you’ve started your day with uncertainty. You work on whatever gets put on your plate based on the emails that come in, a phone call, or a random selection from the two dozen post-it notes on your desk. 

This isn’t conscious and intentional, it is mindless and reactionary. 

It’s Not Easy

Deliberateness takes a bit more effort. 

Setting an intention for our actions and making decisions consciously requires preparation; not just in the form of getting everything you need ready, although that’s a big part. It requires preparing your mind long before you have to act. 

For example, when you are trying to be more focused, it helps to understand the forces working against you. A simple first step is to make note of the things that distract you during the day. 

Decision Removal

Most of the distractions in our life are caused by in the moment decisions we shouldn’t be faced with anyway. We subject ourselves to decisions which undermine our goals. 

Another step in acting deliberately is to find ways to remove ‘in the moment’ decisions.

Do I eat a banana or a bowl of ice cream? It’s easier to choose the banana if the ice cream isn’t there.

Do I open Facebook or write a blog post? It’s easier to write if you set some rules about how you want to use your time. There’s also some software that can help keep you off Facebook entirely.

Do I go for a run or keep working at my desk? Scheduling in the time you will run and having everything you need ready to go can help make that decision easier.

Do I make ten sales calls today or check my inbox to see if anyone sent me something important? Having names and numbers ready and the time to call helps. Also, establish a rule to only check your email when you need something, not when you’re looking for something to do. (Tweet that)

Prepare to be Deliberate

Someone who goes to the gym each day to train seems as though they have this tremendous power to make the right decision in the moment.

The truth is, they didn’t decide to do this five minutes before. No, the decision to go to the gym was made the night before, or the week before, or the month before. They already knew it was a gym day. Their clothes were ready. The workout was selected.

So, the deliberate action of going to the gym simply became a matter of completing the decision that was already made, showing up to the predetermined location at the set time.

If you’re attempting to make your best decisions at the moment, the odds aren’t with you or anyone for that matter. 

The real trick is to determine ahead of time what matters to us, what matters to our business, and how we should be spending our time. 

When we prepare and decide ahead of time where we want to direct our attention and energy, acting consciously and intentionally in the moment is a much easier choice.

My youngest daughter, Sitota, is fearless. She’s enthusiastic. She’s encouraging. And by some stroke of luck, she possesses a determination to get better at the things she’s working on.

Her newest phrase is, “Practice makes progress!”

I know she’s learned it from her teachers. What I love though is how she has internalized it and understands it.

She may not comprehend the shift the phrase has taken over the years from perfect to progress. She likely can’t conceive what perfectly even looks like. I’m glad.

But watch her attempt a handstand as she counts how many seconds she can hold it. Watch her do cartwheels over and over and then try a one-handed round-off. It is clear she understands progress and the sheer joy of holding just one second longer than before.

Shrink the Gap

As with anything we don’t know how to do, there is a gap between where we are and the picture of being able to do it.

We label that picture as our goal.

We look for examples of those who have accomplished it. We look ahead to imagine what life will be like once we’ve reached our goal. I mean, that’s what we’re supposed to do, right? We’re adults. We’re supposed to be able to picture our lives five years from now.

At seven, Sitota doesn’t have that ability quite yet. She’s just trying new stuff. She’s trying to hold a handstand for one more second. As she gets better, she attempts more complicated flips.

Every attempt, every second she adds, shrinks the gap. And it started with just doing what she could.

Doing Creates Options

I’ve come to dislike the phrase “all in”. I get it. But I sometimes think it can prevent us from trying in the first place.

Sitota isn’t all in on some goal of being a future gymnast. She’s just trying something new. If she gets better at it, she can choose to keep working at it and devote more time.

That said, if she never does another handstand again, she’ll also be fine. No one will care or ask her why she never followed through. She’ll just move on to doing other things. But doing gives her those choices.

We’re less forgiving of ourselves. We sometimes think that every decision in our business has to be all in. I don’t think that’s true.

One of the things I admire about my friend and business partner, Chris Brogan, is his ability to do. He’s always trying something new. He does and learns and does more. Sometimes it turns into something significant. Other times, it’s a learning experience. But in all cases, he makes progress. That progress creates opportunities. It gives our business options.

To me, success has always looked a lot like having options.

So, what could you do just to see what happens next? What could you attempt without feeling like you have to go all in?

Who knows, doing it may give you options you haven’t even considered yet.

Have you ever found yourself staring at a problem for so long you get stuck and can’t figure out the next step? You’re sure if you just keep working on it or concentrate harder the answer will come, but rarely does.

Eventually, you can’t do it anymore. You step away and maybe take a walk or cook dinner and just when you’re not thinking about it, the solution comes to you.

In fact, the answer is so obvious; you almost feel guilty for not seeing it before.

It’s in those moments when our brains let go of the problem, it can do the work of making connections, and we finally see the solution.

It happens to me all the time. So why do we keep pushing so hard?

Give me a break.

High-performance athletes understand the value of a recovery day. In fact, even their training days typically focus on different areas of their body so as not to overwork each one.

Leading up to a marathon, runners will taper their training. You gain nothing by pushing harder on your body in the days leading up to a race. 

In fact, you gain more from tapering.

It is in the deliberate and well-timed periods of rest and recovery that allow the body to grow after all of the work we put in. Training your body to perform at a high level sometimes requires not doing anything.

Intentional Rest

Our version of taking a break doesn’t always look very deliberate. When our brains crave a break, we tend to fill it with mindless jumps from one site to the next. We click to see the pictures of child celebrities who you, “won’t believe what they look like now.”

But we need to take better care of our brains. We need to rest intentionally.

In “The Art of Learning”, Josh Waitzkin talks about the vacations he took with his family. He credits the time away for his ability to progress quickly on his journey to becoming a national chess champion.

While other young chess prodigies filled every minute with constant study, Josh’s family took fishing trips. And there was no chessboard in sight.

Between matches, while coaches and parents pressed his competitors to break down moves from their last game. Josh would step outside and have a catch with his Dad.

What his parents knew instinctively and what he has come to understand more deeply, is that rest is fuel for growth.

Practice Recovery

It’s a little odd to say we have to work at resting and recovering, but when you’re not very good at something, it does take some practice.

It takes time to get better.

Here are some ideas to build consistency for deliberate rest.

Catch yourself

Part of resting means limiting the flow of random information. Any time you find yourself distracted enough to mindlessly open a new browser window or pull out your phone, pause and take a few deep breaths. Or stand up, get a drink of water and then come back to your work.

Leave the distractions behind 

I don’t go anywhere without my phone. I kind of hate that. Try spending 10 minutes a few times a day just looking out a window or standing outside watching ducks on the river.

Talk or Write 

Extended conversations with other people allow our brains to process information. When we listen to others. When we share thoughts and ideas, even if we’re not talking about the specific problem, it changes our perspective.  It gets us out of our heads. Likewise, a practice like Morning Pages can also help us recover. Stream of consciousness writing clears away the clutter in our mind.  

Schedule it 

Every productivity expert in the past 100 years has advocated a scheduled time for rest and reflection. From taking naps to hours spent walking after long work or study sessions, they understood the value of taking a break.

I use timers, alarms, or reminders to help me be more consistent with resting and recovery.

Aside from coming back to a problem with a refreshed perspective, rest helps me maintain my focus when I am working.

How about you? Do you struggle to slow down and rest? Do you have tips or methods for taking time away to recover?

People talk about time a lot. They never seem to have enough. They’re too busy. They’re stressed. And of course, they are quick to tell you, “You have no idea.”

I do have an idea. I’ve felt this. I may have even said that.

But trust me when I say, you will find the time when it matters.

Years ago I was talking to a friend about feeling overwhelmed. I had a lot going on, and I was worried I wasn’t spending enough time with my four kids. She called me out on this and told me to track my time for two weeks.

The point of the exercise was to move me from how I was feeling to looking at what was actually happening.

As it turned out, I was spending more time with my children than I thought. I had been prioritizing them all along. And that’s what we do; we make time for the things that matter.

Yes or No

How we spend time is a choice.

We choose our family. We choose work because it provides income for our family.

No matter what you want to do, the time is there. It’s a matter of saying yes to one thing and no to something else.

When I was actively training for triathlons and marathons, I managed to find time to swim, bike, and run for 15-20 hours every week.

But It worked because I prioritized it. It worked because I said, no to lots of other things. This also happened around the time I was worried I wasn’t making time for my family.

We can find the time.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is pretty simple.

Everyone is Busy. You Can Still Find The Time.

Somehow we manage to find the time whenever something important happens.

When a friend is in the hospital, we find time to visit. When neighbors need help, we find time to support them. When a parent calls, we find time to talk. When a new season of House of Cards comes out, we find time to watch every episode.

The real question is never, “where will I find the time?” The question is, “what is important to me?” But we don’t always ask this question.

As you say yes to one thing, you say no to another. And that’s a good thing.

Here are four ways to find time for what’s important.

1. Re-write your “To-Do” list every day. – When you write out “rebuild landing page” ten times, you’ll do it, or you’ll decide it’s not all that important and drop it from the list.
2. Get specific and assign everything an amount of time – If you decide that rebuilding your landing page is important, figure out how long it will take you. Hint: add ten minutes for every 30 you think it will take. We always underestimate.
3. Schedule it – If the page is going to take an hour, put it on your schedule. Don’t try to fit to-do list items around other things. You’ll never get anything important done that way.
4. Protect it – Once the clock is running on a project, try to avoid interruptions. Stop checking email. Don’t look at your phone. Don’t check Instagram. Give the project what it needs.

And take the advice my friend gave me. Track your time for two weeks. Write down what you do every day in 20-minute increments.

When you do, you’ll get real data rather than just how you feel. It will show you a few things very quickly. Time is limited. We waste a lot of it. You probably can’t do everything you think you can. BUT….

You will find the time for what matters. We always do.